Why do we need biographies? Because we need a reference group.
Each of us at some point wonders: why do I read about other people's lives? Great, broken, strange, heroic - biographies, interviews, diaries, letters, films. What is this interest - spying on others?
And here is my answer as a psychologist with 30 years of experience: we are not looking for someone else's life - we are looking for ourselves. Or more precisely - those through whom we can navigate our own life. Psychology calls this: a reference group.
What is a reference group?
These are not just “those I like.” These are people with whom I unconsciously check my internal map of the world. You don’t have to know them personally. They can be philosophers, writers, musicians, heroes of books, heroes of life. They become our internal “reference points” – like the North Star.When I read Van Gogh writing to his brother, “I cannot remain silent about the pain I see in the world,” I suddenly feel: I am not alone. When I learn how Nelson Mandela went through prison and remained a man, I have a reference point: even in hopelessness, you can remain yourself. When I hear how Agatha Christie disappears for 11 days because her heart could not take it, I understand: even the strong have breakdowns, and this does not make them weak.
This is not worship. This is psychological navigation.
Why do we need landmarks?
Because man is a relative being. We need a coordinate system: - What is possible? - How do those who go deeper act? - Where does the lie end and the truth begin? - What is happening to me - is it normal or already broken?Without these questions, we get stuck in a vicious circle - where our experience seems unique, but also hopeless.
And when a biography appears - with lively, crackling, real turns - the process of recognition is activated in us: - "I feel the same way." - "I am afraid too." - "I can too." And this starts the movement. From being stuck - to development.
What is the difference between biography and motivation
It is important to understand: I am not talking about those “motivational” texts where everything is beautiful and smooth, and every step is a success. No. A real biography is a path lived until the blood flows. And it is this that makes a person a referent, not an idol. You do not want to be like him. You simply understand: it is possible to be yourself.My method: depth orientation
In my practice, I use an approach in which each person seeks and finds their own reference group. These are not universal names. For some, it is Mayakovsky, for others, Cortazar. For others, it is their own grandmother. And through this connection, a person receives “permission” to live in harmony with themselves. Not to adapt to the environment, not to disguise themselves, not to copy – but to stand on their own ground.Biographies are needed not for the sake of the past. But for the sake of the inner future
Because sometimes someone else's life illuminates what you were afraid to look at in yourself. Because sometimes one line from a letter by Chekhov or Berdyaev gives more than a year of silence. Because we are a tribe, humanity, a network. And someone has already walked the path that you are only just starting on.And if you have found a reference group - even mentally - you are no longer alone.
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