Eight billion and twenty faces.

On the boundaries of intimacy and the secret of meetings

“We are given life to learn to see. But you can only see the one you have learned to love.”

— Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

The world is vast. More than eight billion human lives live, move, intersect. And yet each of us, as a rule, finds ourselves surrounded not by thousands, not by hundreds, but by twenty – sometimes even less – truly important people. These are the ones whose presence deeply shapes us. Those with whom our inner seasons are intertwined: losses, insights, changes.
At first glance, it seems unfair. Where is the equality of opportunity, the random miracles, the endless chances? Why, having theoretical access to everyone, do we, in essence, always live among the few?
Because a person is not a digital entity. Their relationships are not algorithms, not "connections", but a fabric in which trust, time, pain, laughter, silence are woven. You can't just add another thread to it right away.

Limited greatness

British anthropologist Robin Dunbar, studying the cognitive abilities of primates and humans, formulated the so-called “Dunbar number” — a maximum of about 150 social connections that the human brain can stably maintain. But deeply meaningful ones — those where you are truly open, vulnerable, honest — are much fewer.

“The depth requires silence, as a lake requires stillness to reflect the sky.”

- Carl Jung

Everything real in a person grows slowly. We build closeness not with likes, but with presence. Not with speed, but with repetition: choosing to be close again and again. And on this road, few accompany us. This is not a mistake of the system - it is its wisdom.

Meetings that are not accidental

There is one of the most enduring intuitions of the human soul: important people do not come by chance. We can rationalize it, call it coincidence, statistics, biology. But there is still the feeling – as Kundera said – that “the weight of moments” is determined not by their duration, but by their meaning. Sometimes you meet someone and already know: this is a turn. Not a novel, not a drama – a turn: an internal shift, the beginning of a new coordinate grid.

“All meetings are returns. We just don’t always remember where they came from.”

- Rumi

The people who become ours are not just fellow travelers. They are inner companions. It is as if we attract them with who we are in the moment – and at the same time grow in their light. They appear when we are ready, and sometimes – to make us ready.

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Life is not a network, but a circle

We live in a culture of scale. “Bigger” sounds like success. But real life is not a scale, but a circle: small, but whole. In it are the faces you see even with your eyes closed. Those whose silence you understand better than words. Those who know where you really laugh – and where you are truly afraid.

“What touches deeply is rarely widespread.”

- James Hillman

Eight billion faces. And yet we only look at a few, time after time. Because they anchor us. Because in their gaze lies the evidence: You were. You are. You matter.

Cherish your little things endlessly

If you have two, three, ten or twenty people in your life with whom you can be yourself, you h